Showing posts with label lost. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lost. Show all posts

Monday, November 11, 2013

My 2WW

2WW= Two Week Wait

Well- To say that this is the hardest of all... Is an UNDERSTATEMENT!!!!

It is pure HELL! Wondering if the embryos implanted or NOT!
You are afraid to sneeze!
I took a lot of pregnancy tests! None of them showed up as POSITIVE so I was pretty sure that I was out!
It became a ritual! Every morning I would take a PG test! I am almost ashamed to say that sometimes, I took two!
Once I started to prepare myself for the WORST case scenario, which is NOT PREGNANT... Time started to fly by! 

FAST FORWARD: I started having a strange mucus on 7 Nov... But I really didn't think much of it because... every where that I read said that CM (Cervical Mucus) was very normal... But I started bleeding a bit the next day. My clinic is closed on Friday so I just tried to take it easy and spent the evening with my husband since it was our Anniversary (Follow on Post pending!)
The next morning... The bleeding was worse, My husband called my clinic and they said that I needed to get into the ER ASAP!
So- I called a TAXI and off to the hospital. When I got there I spoke to the doctor on call and she said that I was 11 days past transfer so she was going to give me a pregnancy test, if it is positive, I will be admitted.
I got my blood took... And I sat in silence for an hour... Just waiting. The LAB advised me that my results were ready. I took my paper with a control number to the desk and they printed my results. I asked, "Is it Yes or No?" They told me that the doctor would be with me soon. Another 10 minutes of waiting.... 
I walked in and the doctor told me that I would be admitted for Pregnancy Support... Wait, Hold on...
I AM PREGNANT??? I was in SHOCK!
She told me that though it was a bit early to test, anything over 6 is pregnant... And I was 19!

I texted my husband and gave him the news.

I got to my room... I got two injections and an IV... I had to continue taking my Endometrim and Folic Acid...

The bleeding didn't stop... They said in 48 hours they would take my blood again to see if my HCG doubled or not.

My husband stayed by my side the whole time! THANK YOU HUBZ! He spent 2 nights in the hospital bed with me!

Fast Forward: 11 Nov 2013... At around 0730 the nurse came and took my blood.
About an hour later 3 doctors and 2 nurses walked into my room.
I was told that my numbers dropped significantly and that I was loosing the baby/babies. She told me that she would discharge me...
The lady was just so FRANK about it... I just said, "Ok"
When they left the room... I burst into tears... 
I couldn't believe it! I was pregnant... Now... I am not.
A Chemical Pregnancy... That is the term for an EARLY miscarriage... Early being, before a heart rate is found. (I was 4 weeks and 4 days)
I dreaded calling Gustavo. I didn't want him to be upset at work... But he was the only person that I had to call... And I did.
How am I feeling?
-I feel like my body betrayed me... Like it expelled our babies... I started wondering what I could have done different... What will we do next? Was I too stressed?

On a positive note, I spoke to my American friend and she did in fact get pregnant too! I am so excited for her! I did not get news from my Kuwaiti friend from my clinic, but I am sure I will tomorrow!

For the people who I did tell and talk to about this... They ask, "What are you going to do now?"
Ummm, We don't know. I have to give my body time to heal and I have to prepare myself mentally as well! We have vacation coming up and we have to close on our house... So, making our baby is on a back burner for the moment! We have a lot of things to take care of.

Gustavo has been the best support EVER and it makes me love him more and more!
Also- Karina... She came and laid in bed with me... Visited with me... Helped with the kids! Gracias 

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Robert/Edward

I just wanted EVERYONE to know... if you see this picture... I dated him BEFORE I met Gustavo:)