Showing posts with label why. Show all posts
Showing posts with label why. Show all posts

Monday, November 11, 2013

My 2WW

2WW= Two Week Wait

Well- To say that this is the hardest of all... Is an UNDERSTATEMENT!!!!

It is pure HELL! Wondering if the embryos implanted or NOT!
You are afraid to sneeze!
I took a lot of pregnancy tests! None of them showed up as POSITIVE so I was pretty sure that I was out!
It became a ritual! Every morning I would take a PG test! I am almost ashamed to say that sometimes, I took two!
Once I started to prepare myself for the WORST case scenario, which is NOT PREGNANT... Time started to fly by! 

FAST FORWARD: I started having a strange mucus on 7 Nov... But I really didn't think much of it because... every where that I read said that CM (Cervical Mucus) was very normal... But I started bleeding a bit the next day. My clinic is closed on Friday so I just tried to take it easy and spent the evening with my husband since it was our Anniversary (Follow on Post pending!)
The next morning... The bleeding was worse, My husband called my clinic and they said that I needed to get into the ER ASAP!
So- I called a TAXI and off to the hospital. When I got there I spoke to the doctor on call and she said that I was 11 days past transfer so she was going to give me a pregnancy test, if it is positive, I will be admitted.
I got my blood took... And I sat in silence for an hour... Just waiting. The LAB advised me that my results were ready. I took my paper with a control number to the desk and they printed my results. I asked, "Is it Yes or No?" They told me that the doctor would be with me soon. Another 10 minutes of waiting.... 
I walked in and the doctor told me that I would be admitted for Pregnancy Support... Wait, Hold on...
She told me that though it was a bit early to test, anything over 6 is pregnant... And I was 19!

I texted my husband and gave him the news.

I got to my room... I got two injections and an IV... I had to continue taking my Endometrim and Folic Acid...

The bleeding didn't stop... They said in 48 hours they would take my blood again to see if my HCG doubled or not.

My husband stayed by my side the whole time! THANK YOU HUBZ! He spent 2 nights in the hospital bed with me!

Fast Forward: 11 Nov 2013... At around 0730 the nurse came and took my blood.
About an hour later 3 doctors and 2 nurses walked into my room.
I was told that my numbers dropped significantly and that I was loosing the baby/babies. She told me that she would discharge me...
The lady was just so FRANK about it... I just said, "Ok"
When they left the room... I burst into tears... 
I couldn't believe it! I was pregnant... Now... I am not.
A Chemical Pregnancy... That is the term for an EARLY miscarriage... Early being, before a heart rate is found. (I was 4 weeks and 4 days)
I dreaded calling Gustavo. I didn't want him to be upset at work... But he was the only person that I had to call... And I did.
How am I feeling?
-I feel like my body betrayed me... Like it expelled our babies... I started wondering what I could have done different... What will we do next? Was I too stressed?

On a positive note, I spoke to my American friend and she did in fact get pregnant too! I am so excited for her! I did not get news from my Kuwaiti friend from my clinic, but I am sure I will tomorrow!

For the people who I did tell and talk to about this... They ask, "What are you going to do now?"
Ummm, We don't know. I have to give my body time to heal and I have to prepare myself mentally as well! We have vacation coming up and we have to close on our house... So, making our baby is on a back burner for the moment! We have a lot of things to take care of.

Gustavo has been the best support EVER and it makes me love him more and more!
Also- Karina... She came and laid in bed with me... Visited with me... Helped with the kids! Gracias 

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Watch Out

I want everyone to understand something... Sometimes... Friends will turn on you. All of your "girl talks" can become ammunition. Conversations you have in confidence get spread to everyone else... and it hurts. Especially when you once held that person with such high regard. It is like having a Pit Bull that turns on you! It hurts and it is unexplainable....

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

What is a "HATER"?

I decided to look this up... And see what a HATER is...
HATER: a person who hates.
Well- that is a simple definition.
Let me look at IMAGES... I didn't see a PERSON.
Would a hater STEAL a picture of a HOTTIE and send it to all of their friends with a crazy caption??? Or make FAKE FaceBooks??? Or even worse... Fake Myspace Accounts with someone else's picture??? Or take screen shots of the real person's profile then go and Group chat???
Does that make a person a HATER?
I think so.

So here is my definition of a HATER:
-Someone who is not happy with themselves, so they talk about other people all of the time. They have to have large groups of people around them to try and make themselves feel valued or important.

I found this on another BLOG... from way back in 2010 Get Rid of Hater TIPS

This is how you get rid of HATERS... (No, there is not a spray) I looked! LMAO!
1. Keep your business to yourself…people can’t hate on what they don’t know; well not  effectively.
2. Put distance between you and your haters…if your haters are friends with your friends…tell your friends you don’t care to know what such & such is saying as  it doesn’t make a difference in your life & they should find something better to do with their time.
3. Applaud your haters & stop them dead in their tracks by saying you agree with everything their saying about you. LOL There’s no where to go from there but STOP!
Hopefully one of these 3 easy techniques will help rid you of your haters or at the very least reduce them.
Good Luck!
And here is a note to my HATERS (One in particular)
Dear Envious Beast-
My Life is beautiful! You can share it with whomever...
Make positive progression towards perfection... Love yourself... Learn that you cannot talk your way out of everything... You have plenty of time, Go to the GYM... Work out that aggression... And know I am not thinking about you. And YES, I am beautiful. You are just making me famous on Camp Arifjan by showing me off:) I have an awesome FAMILY and someone to go home to! Contracting is NOT my life. Neither is drinking, drugs and sleeping with RANDOM Nobodies!!! Look at yourself before you look at me... Because I could unload ALL of your mess and destroy you the same way you are trying to destroy me... I just CHOSE not to!
PS- Now I have PLENTY of time to BLOG... But so do you! (BITE, BITE, BITE)
God Bless you!
-With Lots of Love~XOXO~ Amber Dawn Banegas...

Here are some Nicki Minaj Quotes... I knew I wasn't the only person this was happening to! You are NOT the first and will not be my last!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Another Shooting in America...

I think it is a bit ironic how my family and friends at home wonder WHY I would come over to the Middle East and bring the kids here too...

Look at all the stuff going on in America!!! The job market is SHABBY! People are shooting up schools, randomly making home-made bombs and all kinds of CRAZINESS...

The only thing that I am really scared about in Kuwait is... DRIVING! There are some CRAZY drivers here.

The most recent shooting: WASHINGTON DC
He is still on the run.
Hmmm. SMH...

Read from the Herald Sun here

Saturday, September 14, 2013

If I could SAVE the World...

Sittng in my office, I hear CNN ALL DAY LONG! CNN International is NOT like CNN in America!

It is far less sensored.

It shows dead bodies... and EVERYTHING...

If I could change the World...

Here are a couple things that I would start with right away:

1. Stop letting CHILDREN get married.
- Mimi is 7 years old... I could not, FOR NO AMOUNT OF MONEY, sell her to a MAN.
(Or anyone)
There are so many articles about how these young children are dying... Being SOLD by their own families to MUCH older men.
What do you think little girls know about marriage? More over, what do they know about sex? I saw an article (Read it here) about an 8 year old dying from internal bleeding... It is sick. As a mother, as a WOMAN, it makes my stomach hurt!

2. Get rid of ALL nuclear weapons
- Why do we have them, if we shouldn't use them? I would have all these SUPER GENIUS' come up with a way to destroy them all. There is no need for them. ZERO reason to have them!

3. Send CRIMINALS to Mars
- I see how people want to go and live on Mars... Better idea... Send all the killers, rapists, and those guys who are marrying 8 year olds up there! Use them to build a World up there... I wonder if any of them would make it? I doubt it. I hate that there are SO many TAX dollars going to feeding, sheltering and educating people who have committed the biggest SINS whilst hard working people can barely make a living.

I think that 3 changes are enough for now. I will never be the President of the United States or Ruler of the WORLD... But if I was.........


Saturday, December 15, 2012

I hate Kuwait when...

I try my best to be a good ROLE model... When I am out with the kids I try not to show my tail... HOWEVER, it is very difficult at times! Sometimes I want to step on those abayas... (Oppps, So Sorry!)

1. People cut me in line... (I know you see me! I am 5'9"... and PALE!!! You see me!)

2. People flash their lights at me! I have NO WHERE to go! There is a car beside me... Scotty, Please  Beam me up so I do not get RAN OFF the road!

3. Take a picture! I am NOT a freak of nature... STOP STARING! Rude!

4. I hate when people throw trash out of their windows as well... I hate how dirty Kuwait is... It is the worst when the wind is out... It doesn't matter how many guys in those ORANGE jumpsuits are cleaning the streets... It is still DIRTY!
Yes- This is life. Sometimes I get SO upset... But I cannot control others. I can just try to keep the kiddies doing the right things.

5. Where is your child's safety seat? I hate to see the kids jumping around in the car! These roads are DANGEROUS!

Another thing that I see all the time that puzzles me...
Why are the kids in the family dressed in the SAME exact outfits? There could be 4 different kids, all different ages... And they are ALL wearing the SAME outfit... Am I the only one who finds that STRANGE?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


So- I called a friend in the Great Land of America and said,
"Happy End of the World Day!"
To which he replied with, "It isn't the 20th."

-Hmmm- Here I am thinking that the Mayans got their "End of World" theory because the clock goes to 12...

"Where did they get the 20 from?"

His response, "IDK..."
Well Great!!!

One thing  that bothers me is the "UNKNOWN" The concept of 'ETERNITY' puzzles me. Since I can remember, everything had a begining and an end... So how can something last FOREVER?
As a child I remember laying in my bed with an uneasy feeling, imagining the clouds rolling on forever and ever wondering "Where is ETERITY?"

Sunday, October 14, 2012


I went to look at my stats... And they are GONE... Why oh Why oh Why!!!???